by Katera Stainbrook

Once upon a time there was a poor single housewife who had three handsome sons. On one glorious day this housewife had an opportunity to meet the king and portray herself as a person of some importance. In order for her to impress the king she lied and told the king that she had the three most beautiful daughters in the village. She spoke highly of these daughters who could cook, clean, and are wonderful with children. The king said to the housewife, "Now those are talents worth having, if your daughters are as perfect as you say, bring them to the palace tomorrow, and I'll put them to the test."

When she arrived home to her sons she told them of her visit with the king and the opportunity to impress the king so he will bring them out of poverty. The three boys become more interested and asked how they could help. The housewife went on explaining that all they had to do was pretend to be her daughters, excluding the fact that they had to cook, clean and take care of children. As the boys began choking on their food, the mother begged them to help her just this once. After much convincing they agreed to become beautified and learn the quote on quote "basics of feminine etiquette."

Returning to the palace the housewife brought along her 3 "daughters" who ungracefully strutted towards the king. The king replied, "Oh what homely daughters you have, let's see if they are as useful as they look." The king led them into the kitchen and said, "Now set to work and cook all day and night, by early morning I will return to see what you have made me, if you choose to disobey this- you shall die." The king closed the door behind him and left the 3 sons alone inside the kitchen.

So the 3 boys sat down in confusion, and began snacking on the food in the fridge. They boys began discussing what they could make to impress the king. The boys huffed and puffed and admitted they hadn't the least idea what they could cook to impress the king.

"Oh!" answered the one son, " We have to cook a plentiful for the king and we haven't a notion how it is done."

"What will you give me if I cook this meal for you?" asked the woman.

"My baseball card collection," replied the one son.

"How is a baseball card collection worth anything to me," replied the woman. "I want something I can wear or use for my appearance, I am a woman!"

The boys huddled and conversed of things they could give to satisfy this woman. Finally, they replied, "Go to our mother and ask her for her most expensive necklace."

Satisfied, the woman began cooking and filled the counters with entrees and deserts. As soon as the sun rose the King came, and when he perceived the plentiful array of food he was astonished and delighted. After the king and his family ate all the food the king demanded that the daughters must clean the mess and have it shiny clean by the early morning.

The boys didn't know what to do and began pouting and stomping their feet. Then the door opened and the short, plump woman appeared and said: "What will you give me if I clean this mess for you?" The boys replied, "Go to our mother and take what you want, we desperately need help." Pleasingly the woman agreed and began mopping and doing the dishes as the boys took a nap in the dining room.

The next morning the king returned and was pleased beyond measure at the sights but his requirements for the perfect woman were not reached yet. He placed the 3 daughters in a room with his 4 children who were of all ages. "You must show me that you can take care of children, if you value your life, they must not cry," replied the king.

Once again the short, plump woman appeared and offered to take care of the children for them. The boys said, "Go to our mother and take what you want!" The woman replied, "There is nothing left of hers that I desire." The boys begged for her help. Finally she said, "I'll give you three minutes to guess my name, and if you find it out, I will watch over these children." They began screaming out names, Jennifer, Ruth, Wanda, perhaps Florence, but each time she always replied: "That is not my name." As the children were screaming and singing as they ran around the boys, one little girl began singing "Mary had a little lamb, little lamb," as there was 30 seconds left they screamed "is it Mary?"

The short plump woman cringed as a little boy grabbed her hand as she stomped off into a game of Duck, Duck, Goose.

In the morning the king returned satisfied that all his children were asleep and offered the daughters a choice to marry any man in his court or a great wealth of money. Of course the 3 sons left the palace, skipping in their fluffy dresses and sacks of money to bring to their mother.